Shane Hughes 9-7-25

Two things simultaneously. I want to kind of create the expectation for a high view of leadership and I want to paint it the way that Paul paints it, which may mean that it feels kind of unobtainable, while at the same time I want to, I want to inspire you to aspire to achieve that very thing. And this is crucially important because there's a whole constellation of very high profile failures of character that have happened in the church in the last few years, particularly in America. And those high profile failures mask a whole slew of low profile failure of nerves. And actually, I think that the low profile failures are actually more damaging than those high profile failures are because it's leaders that are lacking the guts to do the hard things.

Both are detrimental to the church. But the fact that there are failures at all shouldn't surprise us. Perhaps the problem is thinking that Christian leadership ought to be high profile, but in some places that's unavoidable. And so I want us to understand two things about this text as we kind of begin. The first is that this text is written at a particular time to a particular church in Ephesus and a particular culture in which Ephesus lived.

And so there are certain assumptions about how their world worked, and that included who got to be in charge and who got to make decisions. And we know that Paul is writing to Timothy to instruct him how to appoint elders for this church. Our time, our church, our culture may be different. And so this requires wisdom and a very keen ear, listening for the voice of the Spirit. And this isn't a new tactic.

This is something that the elders have done in churches for 2,000 years. After all, we see this in Acts 15, where the elders in Jerusalem and figuring out, can Gentiles actually become Christians without first becoming Jewish? They said it seemed good to, to us and to the Holy Spirit. The Gentiles should be part of the church. So on one hand, this is contextual.

It exists in a certain time and a place, in a certain culture, written to a specific church, but it's also the word of God. And so we have to be aware of our own bias as we approach this text. Because we live in a Western culture and this was written in an Eastern culture. We tend to read things from the perspective of an individual. And, and this is written to a collective culture.

We live in a place where Christianity has authority and power in our society. And Paul is writing to a people who live on the very edge of rejection by the culture around them. And so as we approach this text, I want us to hold those two things in balance. This is someone else's mail and it's the word of God. And so at Highland, we made a decision about four or five years ago, as we discern this text, that we feel that for our time, our place, our church, our culture, it was appropriate for men and women to be elders.

If you're new here, that's just something you need to know. And we discussed about how do we read this text? Or maybe how does the our reading of this text enlighten how we understand how the world works? And here's the thing I need you to know. In Greek, there's no such thing as an exclamation point.

They just didn't have that bit of grammar. They couldn't make it. So in order to make a point emphatic to indeed it, they would just kind of take a bunch of synonyms and railroad car them all together. And so you just kind of get hit by a bunch of things that said the same thing. And that's how you knew when the author wants something to be important.

And the way you read it, when you come across all of these different synonyms in the New Testament, is you realize the first one is probably the one that he wants to put. The author wants to put the exclamation point behind. And the rest of them matter, except for the last one. That one's important too. This is what we would call a nested set.

Everything that comes after the first one kind of fits underneath it as an exclamation point to that big important word. And so it's not so much that you would read this as a checklist to say, do I have X, Y, Z, A, B and C? As much as you realize that first point matters, and this is how we know it matters, it kind of looks like this.

So hear this again as a nested set. This is in first Timothy, chapter three, starting verse one, if you want to follow along. The saying is sure, whoever aspires to the office of bishop, the desires a noble task. Now a bishop must be above reproach. That's the big thing.

Everything else fits under it. That is a one person, spouse, temperate, self controlled, respectable, hospitable, an apt teacher, not a drunkard, not a violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, and not a lover of money. They must manage their own household well, and keeping their children submissive and respectful in every way. For if some, if someone doesn't know how to manage their own household, how could they manage the household of God? They must not be a recent convert.

Or they may be puffed up with conceit and fall into condemnation like the evil one, the devil. Moreover, now this is the last one. They must be well thought of by the outsider so that they may not fall into disgrace and the snare of the devil. So what you see is that nested set. What is the most important characteristic of an elder to writing Timothy?

Paul writing to Timothy in Ephesus. It is that they are above reproach, that their life consistently displays the character of someone who is exemplar in their follow, their dedication to Christ. What's the second most? It's the one that comes at the end that they are well thought of by the outsider. Now once you notice this, you begin to see it all over scripture.

So in Galatians, chapter three, when Paul is listing the fruits of the Spirit, notice what he says. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, primary everything else, it gets expressed as a lesser extent, that is joy, it looks like peace, it looks like forbearance or patience, it looks like kindness, it looks like goodness, it looks like faithfulness toward one another, it looks like gentleness, and it looks like self control. Now love is the most important virtue for a Christian, and self control is the most important virtue for a Greek. And so he sets everything else in the set of those that context. This is also true with vice lists In Mark, Chapter 7, Mark writes, For it is from within out of a person's heart that evil thoughts come.

Evil thoughts that is Sexual immorality or theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All of those things fit under the category of evil thoughts. Using God's God gifted creativity to make evil things. And so for the most part, when we look at this list, we want to see it as what does it look like to be above reproach? What does that look like?

But there are a few peculiarities that I want to point out. The emphasis on the one that follows above reproach is literally translated husband of one wife, one wife, or one wife man. But the emphasis on that is not husband. The emphasis on that is one. And so it's, it's as if Paul is saying, if you are married, you need to be able to do that well.

If you are married, you need to be able to do that well or have enough space and growth after that mistake to demonstrate otherwise. And there are times in your lives where you can't learn from your mistake. Let me rephrase that. Let me put it in the first person. There's been times in my life where I cannot learn from the mistakes that I've made.

And because I'm not aware of them and because I'm not reflecting on them, then I just keep making those mistakes over and over and over again because I haven't been able to process them yet. And so to be a one person spouse means if you're going to be married, you're going to do it well, or there's enough space and distance and evidence into your life that you've grown past that mistake. And the same is true for kids. And if an elder has kids, then they need to be a good parent. Now, I want to say it's impossible for someone in the first century to imagine an elder who isn't married and doesn't have children, except the fact that Paul wasn't married.

And maybe even more importantly, neither was Jesus. But both of those men had a close group of friends whom they lived in community with and whom they traveled with and they spent day to day with. Paul had his traveling companions, Timothy, Titus, Luke and others. Jesus had his apostles. And it's, it's clear that at least for Jesus, his group of followers annoyed him at times.

And it's clear, at least for Paul, that his group of friends disappointed him at times.

Either way, we must be relentless in pursuing discipleship within the context of those relationships that are closest to us. I want to say that again because I want you to hear it. We must be relentless in pursuing discipleship in those communities that are closest to us. Maybe they're close because they're your spouse, your children, your family. Maybe they're close because they.

These are the people that you've chosen to live with and do community with, like Paul and Jesus. But that is the crucible where discipleship is going to be most effective because. Because close community confronts our selfishness, but it does it gracefully. Kirk Thompson has this quote I want to share with you. In your life, God's way is about loving him or loving your neighbor with all the parts of you.

And this is hard work, especially for those parts of your heart and soul and mind that have not had very much practice doing that, or the wounded parts or the weak parts. And so when you enter into community, you're going to discover just how selfish you really are. And you need people that will gracefully call you to account. Now, I don't mean gracefully like a ballerina. I mean gracefully like a running back.

And this is what I mean. I mean that God is coming after you. God is relentlessly pursuing you But God is not. God never was, not even in Genesis, chapter three, coming to kill them. And he's never coming to kill you.

God is not coming to get you. He is coming to make peace. The problem is he just can't get people to cooperate with him. God is coming after you and that close community that's willing to be gracious to you, to expose your own selfishness to you, to call you to something greater and something higher and something deeper, something more meaningful. That's how it happens.

Physicality is a direct function of the community that we occupy.

And what does this look like? Well, it looks like that I'm going to continually bring myself into the room where my shame and my grief and my longings are named. I'm going to bring those things into a room with other people. And I have to tell you the truth, this is a very vulnerable space to be. When you bring your shame and your grief and your deepest hopes to somebody else, that is a very vulnerable place to be.

There has to be some trust in that space. And what you discover when you willingly bring that into a place where those. Your. Your autonomy is respected is that those people, despite your shame and despite your grief and despite your longings, they're just going to keep going. They're going to continue.

It's like the body of Jesus are continually saying, we are so glad you're here. We are so glad that you, Your authentic self, is here.

But I think the reality is that most of us find ourselves living outside of our authentic self on occasion or part of the time. I think this happened twice in the sports world this week. I don't know if you saw it, but at the US Open, there was this poor Polish CEO, and he'd come down to the. The front to get an autograph from one of the players. And he claims that he thought the player was giving him a hat that the player had signed.

Actually, the player was giving it to a child that was standing right next to him. And he kind of snatched that hat away and then stuffed it in his wife's purse, which was kind of a little bit sus, if you know what I'm saying. And then he came out with this statement that's like, hey, you know, first. First one there wins. I work hard.

I deserve it. And then it sounds like somebody in, like, his company said, that was a terrible idea, dude. And he writes a better apology later on, and his company gets, like, railroaded for this, right? All sorts of negative reviews start coming out, and he realizes, I'm in trouble.

Same thing happened at a, I think a Phillies game a couple nights ago where there's this moment and it's just beautiful moment. The home run is hit and this guy runs over and he grabs it and he takes it back to his son and he hands the ball to his little boy in the mitt. And then he puts his arms around the boy. If you haven't seen this, you need to watch it. And he closes his eyes and you know it's happening immediately.

For that man in that moment, this is a dream that he's always had where he could give a live game ball to his kid and then give him a hug. It was the most beautiful moment. And. And in that moment where he's hugging his son and he's feeling it, he feels this tap, tap, tap on his shoulder. And this woman that also wanted the ball had come over there and said, hey, that's my ball.

And the dude is like kind of startled at first, and he's like, what? I don't understand. And then she says, you can't. I'm making up the words, that's my ball. And he says, oh, I think I had it.

And she said, no, that's mine. And so he takes the ball that he just gave to his son and he hands it to this woman, and the woman takes it and walks away. Now, if you haven't paid attention to this clip, this is what I want you to see. The look on the face of that woman as she walks away, it is the opposite of the look on that man's face when he closes his eyes holding that for his son. She is still full of anger and frustration.

And he was full of absolute joy. The problem is, is that both that Polish CEO and that folks Phillies fan, they both kind of just got caught up in the moment. They both thought that they should get the ball or they should get the hat. And what it looks like from an outsider, for me watching it on tv, it looks like selfishness and it looks like stealing from children. And I guarantee you both are going to get vilified in their work.

And I guarantee you both of them are probably going to be like the hottest Halloween costume this year. You can be like the Philly Steel fan. But this is what the world doesn't know. The world doesn't know anything about their life. The world doesn't know anything about their character.

They don't know anything about what kind of spouse or friend or parent they are. And the rest of the world, it does not matter. But for that woman and for that man, their life is just. It's been shattered.

And. And this is my hope for them. My hope for each of them is that they have the kind of people around them who will let them experience the grace of Jesus that allows them to work on this wounded or weak part of themselves to be healed, to be transformed. What each of them need is a community around them that will allow them to confront their selfishness gracefully and learn from the experience and move forward.

The other thing that this close community requires is it forces us to practice forgiveness and it forces us to experience the healing of relational rupture. When you've had a rupture in your life and you're willing to do the work of naming that, I want this relationship to once again be healed. I want you to understand what you're saying. When you experience rupture and you go to a person that has not yet seeking forgiveness from you yet because they hurt you, or you go to a person that you hurt and you know you caused harm and you say, hey, I need to work this out with you. What you're saying is, I value this relationship so much that I want it to be even better than it was before, even though I made the mistake and I feel sorry about it, or you made the mistake and you may not even feel apologetic yet I want this better than before.

Where ruptures are repaired in relationships, those relationships are often described as being far more resilient than they were before the rupture ever occurred. Look, the brain can do a lot of hard things for a long time. As long as the brain doesn't have to do it by itself. The process of having and enduring hard things in the presence of others, the kind of ego dacid that that CEO is about to experience. If he doesn't have to do it by himself, what he's going to get out of it is he's going to have developed resilience, that we can look suffering in the eye because we don't have to do it alone.

And I got to tell you the truth, when you experience these kind of difficult situations of confronting your own selfishness, of risking forgiveness and risking healing the rupture, those kind of relationships are a witness to the work of the gospel. Because you can read this list, and I'll be frank with you, going back to First Timothy, Chapter 3, you can read this list and you can treat it like a checklist that tells you where you are no longer worthy. You can read it in such a way that tells you that you are not good enough. You can read it in such a way that says, you will never be a leader in God's kingdom. That's not how Paul wants you to hear this.

That's not how Paul wants you to hear this. There's so much on this list that wants to make you feel disqualified. And maybe that's even a relief because that means I don't have to try. I've made a mistake in my past. It was 10 years ago, and now I don't have to worry about leadership.

This text wants to do something more. It makes you want to think of the. The aspirational courage it takes within you to do the work of disciples.

And this is work. It's not the gift of being tall or handsome like me. It's an effort that is acquired by discipline and practice. Look, I'm not interested in the person who has a spiritual equivalent of being 6:2 with a chiseled jaw. We all know the minister I'm talking about.

I'm not interested in being that kind of spiritual person. I'm interested in the person who has been on TV on the worst day of their life and. And figured out how to pick up the pieces and give themselves over to God and find out what God can do with the rest of their life. That's the person that I'm interested in being in leadership. I'm in the person who gets up and says, I don't feel like being very good.

I don't feel like I'm very worthy. I don't feel like I'm very strong. But I'm gonna do it anyway. I'm gonna try again. I've hurt someone and I've made a mistake, but my life feels like it's a wreck.

I said something that I should have. I'm going to make it right. I'm going to do it anyway. Get up and try again. Because that kind of resilience that it puts in your heart and your soul, that's what puts you in a place where this church is going to say, yeah, I think.

I think we want you to be our leader. But you don't just arrive there. If you want to get there, you need to start here. I don't know if I've told this story before. It's about Royce Money.

I absolutely love it. Royce Money is a former elder here at Highland. He also worked at ACU. I worked at ACU, like, 20 years ago. And there was this meeting that I have.

There was eight of us. We were around a room for a lunch, and in the midst of the table, there was, like, five bowls of salsa, and. And each of them held, like, a half gallon of salsa. And so we were just eating, and there was a moment where we just kind of paused in the conversation. And he kind of looks at the table, and Royce Money says, and I love this about him, he says, you know, I really would have loved to be here when they were trying to figure out how much salsa 8 people would eat at lunch.

And I just thought, this guy is awesome, right? And so I get to come back here 20 years later, and I have lunch with Royce and talk to him, and. And he's just as funny, and he's just as witty, and he's just as clever, and he's just as wise. And so I'm talking to a friend of mine that we mutually admire, Royce. And I said to him, you know, I hope that when I'm Royce's age, I have that kind of wit and that kind of clever and that kind of funny.

And my friend looks me dead in the eye, and he says, you know, if you want to have it, then you kind of also have to have it now. Which took me a minute. And then I realized, like, you know, right in the heart, If you want to be a person, if you want to be a person who can be used powerfully in God's kingdom in the future, then you kind of have to start using those skills now. You kind of have to get into the place, the crucible around the people that will lovingly confront your selfishness, that will forgivingly and graciously put you back together when everything falls apart, where your friendship and your life together becomes a witness to the power of the gospel. If you want to have it, then we kind of have to start practicing it now.

I get to sit on the front row of the elders as they practice pastoral care to this church, as they pray in hospitals and around coffee tables, as they call everyone here. And then there's hard situations, but I also get to see them as they have to weigh difficult decisions about the future where it's not clear the easiest way to go. And it's not easy because somebody's going to get upset or hurt about the difficult decision that they have to make. I get to see the. The result of the crucible of that formation.

And as a witness, I want to tell you one thing. The path that they took, the grief and the endurance and the hardship, the suffering that they endured to get there for the sake of Highland, it is worth it.

It's worth it.

If you desire to be an elder at this church. That desire, that longing, that is a noble task. It is a worthy story.

And if you want to get there, you have to start now. Would you please stand for our benediction?

Nobody wants to live in a crucible of formation. Nobody wants to get so close to somebody else that their vulnerabilities are constantly on the outside, and they're constantly getting stepped on and challenged, but also comforted. But that's exactly what Christ calls you to do, to live close enough with someone else that they can help you look more like Jesus. And so my challenge for you this week is to find that kind of person in your life, to have that conversation with somebody that's closest to you, to say, help me look a little more like Jesus today.

Help me be a little more gracious and less selfish. Help me to exhibit the generosity and the patience that we see in Jesus Christ. May you have courage this week to do the hard thing and do it anyway. Go in peace.